A colleague at work has just sent this:
Scientists in Switzerland today announced they have evidence of the existence of the "Hagen Boasson" - the elusive "God" cyclist, so called because of the frequency that commentators are heard to utter "God, what's he doing now?
From their secret bunker in Aigle, UCI researchers have described the "Hagen Boasson" as the fundamental cycling component, one that is capable of forming any of the more complex rider types - or "flavours" as they are known - such as sprinter, rouleur, puncheur ,grimpeur, GC rider or one-day specialist. However, the H-B frequently may not form any of these due to not being arsed.
The discovery has been delayed in recent days due to the detection of a more powerful anti element which specifically targets the "Hagen Boasson", The "Sagan Hagen Boasson" has greater mass - which can be converted to ridiculous amounts of energy and thus into velocity. The Sagan Hagen Boasson has been nicknamed the "Christ" particle as in Christ - do you see what he did today? A peculiarity of the SHB is that, having knocked the HB out of the chamber, it performs a number of strange, slightly geometric movements, apparently for the hell of it.
From their secret bunker in Aigle, UCI researchers have described the "Hagen Boasson" as the fundamental cycling component, one that is capable of forming any of the more complex rider types - or "flavours" as they are known - such as sprinter, rouleur, puncheur ,grimpeur, GC rider or one-day specialist. However, the H-B frequently may not form any of these due to not being arsed.
The discovery has been delayed in recent days due to the detection of a more powerful anti element which specifically targets the "Hagen Boasson", The "Sagan Hagen Boasson" has greater mass - which can be converted to ridiculous amounts of energy and thus into velocity. The Sagan Hagen Boasson has been nicknamed the "Christ" particle as in Christ - do you see what he did today? A peculiarity of the SHB is that, having knocked the HB out of the chamber, it performs a number of strange, slightly geometric movements, apparently for the hell of it.
Stay upright and enjoy the holidays
Beats 'marginal gains'
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